Susan
April 18, 2025
When 32 year old Lauren met 51 year old Alex, she was blown away by their chemistry. She didn’t see it coming, and their relationship sparked and soon enough, they became a couple navigating an age gap relationships. In this article, we are going to explore the challenges that come with age gaps and how to build a healthy relationship.
What are Age Gap Relationships?
Age gap relationships are relationships that have a 10 plus year age gap. They have always existed. Men typically date younger and always have; in matchmaking, men hardly ever date their age and it’s typical for them to date 10-20 years younger. Women do it as well, but women are usually referred to negatively as cougars, and it’s not expected to be any more than them having a boy toy. These age gap relationships can be heterosexual or same sex relationships.
According to Ipsos Polls:
- 2% of relationships have a 10 year or more age gap.
- 39% of men have dated women with an age gap of 10+ years. (no surprise
- Women are more likely than man to have dated someone older (no surprise either)
- Unmarried singles aged 35 and over are more likely to date someone with an age gap. At a certain point in age, it seems fine until different life stages start to factor in.
There are common negative misconceptions among these sorts of relationships.
Let’s face it. We know men trade money and power for youth and beauty. That’s not new. That said, there are real relationships built on love, mutual respect, chemistry, and attraction. Most people never look past the age gap though. They always assume the worst. They think:
- She’s after his money.
- She’s young enough to be his daughter.
- He’s a fool.
- It will never last.
- They have Daddy/Mommy issues.
This just isn’t the case. The love is real just like it is with anyone else. Just look at a current age gap relationship that’s been in the news: Gene Hackman and Betsy Arakawa. There was a 30 year age difference there, and they were married for over 33 years.
Do age gap relationships work more than those without an age gap?
Some studies suggest that there is a higher relationship satisfaction than those that are closer in age, but it’s not known for sure. Some reasons for this might be:
- Relationship strength due to more life experience of the older partner.
- A good balance of stability and spontaneity that you don’t find with same age couples.
- A clearer sense of oneself in the older counterpart of the couple which manifests as confidence and more relaxed vibe and approach.
- More time for their partner because they have already built a career.
Weakness of an age gap :
- Dealing with all the naysayers.
- Winding up in different life stages such as one wanting children, and the other done with that or retirement.
- Energy levels as one becomes older and one is still in their prime can take a toll.
- Can be a relationship that the younger partner doesn’t feel like they are equal.
- The older partner can have insecurities as they age.
When it comes to these relationships, they are no different than others in that they are built on the same things other relationship foundations have: love, caring, mutual respect, and good communication.
Age Gaps in Matchmaking
When it comes to matchmaking, I can tell you there is usually a 10 plus year age gap. Men always date younger. It’s expected especially in luxury matchmaking. It’s unusual for a man to request a partner within 3-5 years of his age. Women sort of expect this in matchmaking as well, but it’s hard to find men at a certain age to date older. It’s our plight as matchmakers. Don’t shoot the messenger.
As a matchmaker, I look for compatibility in life stages for them as well as compatibility in hobbies and personalities. Things such as are they both empty nesters, do they like to travel, what’s their flexibility around their careers? Most importantly, do they have shared values like any other couple? Are they aligned well on goals? All these things are important.
Couples with An Age gap:
- George Clooney and Amal Clooney have a 17 year age gap and have been married for going on 11 years.
- Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones have a 25 year age gap and have been married for 25 years. They have had normal ups and downs.
- Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have been married for 15 years but have been together for 23 years. They have a 22 year age gap.
- Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas have a 10 year age gap and have been married for 6 years.
Could an age gap relationship be in your future?
You may or may not fall for someone with a large age gap. Don’t let it fool you though. You definitely could. When I was younger, I dated older men but I had a child when I was younger, so I had more in common with older men. It goes back to the alignment on life stages.
Some people say they would take 20 good years with the right person that happens to be older than 50 bad years in marriage.
If you come to our luxury matchmaking service, I can tell you we have age gaps. Certain cities like Miami, the women just don’t even want to date their own age.
When considering someone older or younger, just make sure you have a great foundation for a relationship like all others. Make sure you are an equal, and don’t marry for money. Marry for all the things people marry for such as love, chemistry, and passion.
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