Date Coaching VS Matchmaking
:In today’s world, singles have embraced all kinds of new ways to find love, from using apps on their phone to hiring professionals to help them navigate the dating world. When it comes to the latter, there are two common options: dating coaches and matchmakers. Understanding the distinctions between how these two pros operate is crucial to figure out which route you should go — which is why I put together this guide comparing date coaching vs matchmaking.
So, what’s the difference between a date coach and a matchmaker? These professionals often get confused because they do have some things in common — in fact, they often share some (but not all) of the same services, like image consultations and mock dates. Their objective is essentially the same, too: to help you find a meaningful relationship. But ultimately, their methods for helping you achieve that goal are completely different — and to that end, the time and costs involved in their services tend to differ as well.
To determine which is right for you, you’ll have to consider your needs. Below, I’ll break down how they differ, and the pros and cons of each to help you make your decision.
Do you never seem to get past the first or second date? Do you struggle to get anyone to commit to you? Are the people you’re attracted to not typically showing a reciprocated interest? A dating coach can not only help you to identify what you’re doing wrong but also guide you on how to make changes so that you’re more successful on dates. For example, they might be able to recognize if you have a lack of confidence, or a tendency to divulge too much personal info upfront, or that you’re still hung up on an ex. Or, they may determine that you’re simply a little clueless when it comes to flirting and dating today because you just ended a very long relationship (and haven’t been out there recently). Whether you’re trying to break some bad dating habits, get out of the friend zone, or present yourself in a better light on dates, a dating coach can be an excellent source of advice and support.
This service is great for people who:
- Have been out of the game for a while (for example, just got divorced or went through a breakup in a long-term relationship)
- Are having trouble attracting the kinds of people they’re interested in
- Need some extra support and feedback while dating
- Are struggling with a lack of confidence in approaching men or women
.A dating coach may analyze your dating profiles and how you approach men/women, how you interact on dates, and who you’re pursuing, and then offer honest feedback on what’s holding you back from finding the kind of relationship you want. But then it’s up to you to incorporate that feedback and develop the new skills that are necessary for attracting lasting love. So, this service will only really be effective if you’re willing to engage in some serious self-reflection and self-improvement so you can put your best foot forward on dates.
Some dating coaches may meet with you weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, and meetings may happen over video chat or on the phone. Prices can vary vastly depending on whether the coach charges by the hour, session, or has a set rate for specified packages.
Pros to a dating coach:
- Potential to boost your self-awareness and self-esteem
- A pro’s insight sheds light on your strengths and weaknesses so you can work on them
- A fresh perspective from a seasoned pro on the modern dating world (what works and what doesn’t)
- Accountability and motivation to help you overcome dating burnout
- The chance to learn new skills you can use in approaching other singles as well as on dates for maximum success
Cons to a dating coach:
- They won’t set you up on dates — that’s up to you
- You have to be willing to open yourself up to criticism
- There’s no guarantee you’ll find love, especially if you are unwilling to embrace the changes your coach is recommending
Bottom line? With date coaching, you get to choose the men or women you go out with — which could be an advantage or a drawback, depending on your unique situation. If you’re already “out there” and meeting people IRL and on apps, and you like having control over who you go out with, then this might be a good fit for you. However, if you’re already having a hard time meeting quality singles or you seem to pick people who are all wrong for you, matchmaking will likely be more beneficial.
Sometimes, for whatever reason, people just can’t seem to find the kinds of people they’d like to date. I see it all the time: maybe they live in the middle of nowhere, or they work a high-powered job that prevents them from having an active social life. Regardless of the reason, a matchmaker is a hands-on love professional: unlike a dating coach, we do all the pre-screening for you, so you don’t have to worry about whether your date is who they say they are (if you use our service because other matchmakers don’t have my expertise in investigations), or whether they’re actually compatible with you. So, if you’re tired of hunting for prospects yourself (or don’t seem to be very good at it), a matchmaker can be a godsend. Most matchmakers will do some kind of background check, but the extent of these can vary a lot. At Exclusive Matchmaking, I leverage my experience as a relationship investigator to dig up all the deets on a person before I ever send you out with them — the kinds of things that might not show up on a typical background check — so you have peace of mind that your date doesn’t have any major skeletons in their closet.
While pricing for these services can range vastly, keep in mind that matchmaking is a luxury service, and the cost tends to reflect that. There are matchmakers for almost any budget, but remember, you get what you pay for. That said, if a client can’t afford my services, I can refer them to someone else who might be a good fit.
Our matchmaking service is great for people who:
- Are way too busy to find and vet other singles
- Are too shy to approach the people they’re interested in
- Celebrities and other visible professionals who don’t want to be seen on dating apps
- Seem to have a “bad picker” and want to let a pro take the reins in finding compatible singles
- Are having trouble meeting the caliber of people they’re interested in dating
- Want to avoid catfishing and other deceptive behavior
- Live in a remote area where there aren’t many viable singles
Like a dating coach, a matchmaker will spend a lot of time getting to know you — but in different ways. Whereas a dating coach may be laser-focused on your dating behaviors, my team of matchmakers will be interested in what kind of person you’re looking for. In other words, what are your values? What future do you envision with your partner? Do you want kids, or do you want a companion to travel the world with? How do you express and receive affection? What’s most attractive to you in another person? They may very well ask about your dealbreakers, too, but keep in mind that a good matchmaker won’t shy away from calling you out if you have unrealistic expectations.
Once they know you better, the matchmaker will begin arranging dates for you — and if they’re good at what they do, their work doesn’t stop there. After your date is over, my team will offer instant feedback to help you fine-tune your skills going forward. This allows you to continually improve on your first impressions so that you have better odds of turning those dates into a real, lasting relationship.
Pros to a matchmaker:
- Major time saved from finding and screening dates
- Personalized advice before and after your dates
- No stress about meeting a stranger who may have lied about their age, appearance, career, relationship status, financial situation, etc.
- If you trust me and you are open, I can find you love.
Cons to a matchmaker:
- You need to relinquish some control over who you go on dates with, which can be hard for some
- You’re guaranteed dates but not necessarily relationships (that’s up to you!)
- Getting out of your comfort zone and moving away from your type might be uncomfortable.
There are very few disadvantages to matchmaking. But in order to get the most out of it, you’ll want to ask about the size of the pro’s database. I’ve amassed an enormous network of high-quality singles throughout the country over the years, which means I have a better chance of helping you find love than someone who’s only working with a small set of people in a localized area.
Remember: the name of the game with matchmaking is quality, not quantity. I don’t just send people on dates just for the sake of doing so. But as long as you’re willing to wait for the right match, matchmaking services will save you so much time and energy in the long run — because you won’t end up going on dozens of dates that lead nowhere.
Still not sure whether you should hire a dating coach or a matchmaker? Then ask yourself this: Do you have the time and resources needed to search for love, or do you need someone else to step in to take on that role? A dating coach can help you to become the best version of yourself on dates — but only a matchmaker can actually secure those dates in the first place.
The good news is that you don’t have to choose — you can take advantage of both matchmaking and date coaching at the same time. Many of my clients like to get the best of both worlds because they need help not only finding dates, but also navigating them as well. If a matchmaker sent you on a date with your dream man or woman tomorrow, and you’re not confident that you have what it takes to snag that second and third date, you may want to combine date coaching with your matchmaking services. Most of our matchmaking packages combine the two.
Above all, remember that no matter whether you choose a matchmaker or dating coach, you should always do extensive research on the company before investing in any services. Just because someone calls themselves a dating coach or matchmaker doesn’t mean they have the experience and knowledge necessary to back that title up. The consultation, which I offer to all of my prospective clients, is an opportunity not only for the pro to get to know you but also for you to get to know them — and assess whether they’re the right matchmaker for your specific needs.
Think you’re ready to work with a professional matchmaker? Start by filling out this application, and you’re one step closer to a more fulfilling love life.