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How To Flirt Over Text (With Examples!)

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Susan

woman flirting with an attractive guy

When it’s comes to how to flirt over text, this is a relatively new skill. It’s hard to believe that just 25 years ago, you had to call someone up on the phone or meet up IRL to flirt. We all know those people that just oozed flirting skills, but this is different.  Now, you can let someone know you’re into them by simply typing out a quick message, adding a couple of emojis for good measure, and hitting “send.” This is more subtle flirting.

Flirting via text is an art, however — the key is to make your interest clear while still maintaining some intrigue, and to show confidence without coming on too strong. We aren’t talking sending nudes over texts. Guys, if this is your idea of flirting over text, well you have it all wrong. That’s more of a sexting skill.

Flirting is a skill set that you might not even have mastered in person. Never fear though because when you master flirting over text, you will have ignited a spark and the rest will take care of itself. Wondering how to flirt over text? Fret not — I’m going to coach you through crafting the perfect message to pique your crush’s interest and teach you how to flirt with a girl over text, or a guy for that matter. I’ll provide some handy examples that you can feel free to copy and paste, or tweak and make your own.

Whether you’re trying to win over someone you just matched with on a dating app, or trying to take things to the next level with someone you’ve already gone out with a few times, here are some texting tips to get the digital sparks flying.

Keep your texts short and sweet. No long messages.

As a general rule, the simpler the text message, the better. So, avoid typing out a super long text if you’re going for a flirty tone. Think about it this way: Which would be more effective for capturing your attention at a bar — if someone smiled, said “hey and winked,”, or if someone approached you and rambled on for 5 straight minutes about their life?

Short texts are not only smoother, but it also encourages some back and forth banter — the way you naturally talk in real life.

Examples:

  • Missing that face RN. Send me a photo of it?
  • So, I had a crazy dream about you last night…
  • What are you doing this weekend? Besides hanging with me, of course.
  • Fun fact: this song just reminded me of you.

Keep your texts and vibe positive.

Flirting, by nature, is meant to be fun and lighthearted — it should make you both feel like you’re in high school again. A person with a good flirt game keeps it exciting. So, when you’re going for a flirty tone, you’ll want to avoid talking about anything too heavy or intense. Keep it upbeat, because then the object of affection will start to associate you with positive vibes and excitement.

Examples:

  • Just got some amazing news and guess what? You were the first person I wanted to tell.
  • Finally checked out that show you recommended and I’m officially #addicted… How do you know me so well?
  • Seriously can’t stop thinking about that hilarious story you told me. When do I get to hear more?
  • You should come with a warning label. I am unable to get any work done because I find you to be such a dangerous distraction.

Be complimentary.

As they say, flattery will get you everywhere. But remember: a compliment will only really have the desired effect if it’s sincere. Think about the things you genuinely like most about your crush, and use one of them as a jumping -off point for getting in touch.

Examples:

  • Watching a movie and the main character looks a lot like you… except, obviously, not nearly as cute.
  • Confession: every single time I get a text alert I hope it’s from you — because that never fails to make me smile.
  • Just FYI, I’m at 3% battery and I’m using the last of it to text you.
  • Ryan Gosling has nothing on you!

Ask a playful question.

  • Guess which emoji I put next to your name in my phone?
  • Is it just me, or did we kind of knock the whole first date thing out of the park? Feel like we deserve an award for that one, don’t you?
  • How am I supposed to be productive at work when my mind keeps wandering to our date the other night?

Keep the momentum and banter going.

Flirting isn’t flirting without the momentum. If you fail to respond for several days, well you just  failed at the flirting game. There’s nothing wrong with saying you’re at work and can’t wait to get your flirt on with them later. Just make sure to respond. Later, a little text with the right emoji lets them know you are ready to go. I find gifs always provide the right amount of fun and sometimes can be a great tease for later.  

And just like that — you’re nearly a pro at flirting over text. Here are just a few other helpful hints, though: If you’ve already met up in person at least once, or you’ve been conversing quite a bit, you can use your flirty texts as an opportunity to solidify an inside joke. Inside jokes breed a feeling of familiarity and intimacy, and humor makes the recipient feel good — which, again, makes them associate you with a positive experience. You can also feel free to add an emoji or two to your flirty texts for a little emotional flavor, but try to don’t go overboard. What you say with your words is what counts, and emojis are really only meant to enhance the tone and personality of the message (since the recipient can’t see your facial expressions or hear your voice).

Lastly, keep in mind that while texting can be a super effective means for building interest, the best way to flirt is face to face. So, use your texts as a tool to get that next date in the books, and show off those flirting skills in person!

If you need to know more about how to flirt in Dallas or any other major city Exclusive Matchmaking services, please fill out the form to the right. We will be glad to help you.