How To Flirt Over Text
It’s hard to believe that just 20 years ago, you had to call someone up on the phone or meet up IRL to get your flirt on. Now, you can let someone know you’re into them by simply typing out a quick message, adding a couple of emojis for good measure, and hitting “send.” Flirting via text is an art, however — the key is to make your interest clear while still maintaining some intrigue, and to show confidence without coming on too strong. Wondering how to flirt over text? Fret not — I’m going to coach you through crafting the perfect message to pique your crush’s interest. Not only that, but I’ll provide some handy examples that you can feel free to copy and paste, or tweak and make your own.
Whether you’re trying to win over someone you just matched with on a dating app, or trying to take things to the next level with someone you’ve already gone out with a few times, here are some texting tips to get the digital sparks flying.
Keep it short and sweet.
As a general rule, the simpler the message, the better. So, avoid typing out a super long text if you’re going for a flirty tone. Think about it this way: Which would be more effective for capturing your attention at a bar — if someone smiled, said “hey,” and walked away, or if someone approached you and rambled on for 5 straight minutes about their life? A short text is not only smoother, but it also encourages some back and forth banter — the way you naturally talk in real life.
Examples:
- Missing that face RN. Send me a photo of it?
- So, I had a crazy dream about you last night…
- What are you doing this weekend? Besides hanging with me, of course.
- Fun fact: this song just reminded me of you.
Stay positive.
Flirting, by nature, is meant to be cheerful and lighthearted — it should make you both feel like you’re in high school again. So, when you’re going for a flirty tone, you’ll want to avoid talking about anything too heavy or intense. Keep it upbeat, because then the object of affection will start to associate you with positive vibes.
Examples:
- Just got some amazing news and guess what? You were the first person I wanted to tell.
- Finally checked out that show you recommended and I’m officially #addicted… How do you know me so well?
- Seriously can’t stop thinking about that hilarious story you told me. When do I get to hear more?
Be complimentary.
As they say, flattery will get you everywhere. But remember: a compliment will only really have the desired effect if it’s sincere. Think about the things you genuinely like most about your crush, and use one of them as a jumping -off point for getting in touch.
Examples:
- Watching a movie and the main character looks a lot like you… except, obviously, not nearly as cute.
- Confession: every single time I get a text alert I hope it’s from you — because that never fails to make me smile.
- Just FYI, I’m at 3% battery and I’m using the last of it to text you.
Ask a playful question.
- Guess which emoji I put next to your name in my phone?
- Is it just me, or did we kind of knock the whole first date thing out of the park? Feel like we deserve an award for that one, don’t you?
- How am I supposed to be productive at work when my mind keeps wandering to our date the other night?
And just like that — you’re nearly a pro at flirting over text. Here are just a few other helpful hints, though: If you’ve already met up in person at least once, or you’ve been conversing quite a bit, you can use your flirty texts as an opportunity to solidify an inside joke. Inside jokes breed a feeling of familiarity and intimacy, and humor makes the recipient feel good — which, again, makes them associate you with a positive experience. You can also feel free to add an emoji or two to your flirty texts for a little emotional flavor, but try to don’t go overboard. What you say with your words is what counts, and emojis are really only meant to enhance the tone and personality of the message (since the recipient can’t see your facial expressions or hear your voice).
Lastly, keep in mind that while texting can be a super effective means for building interest, the best way to flirt is face to face. So, use your texts as a tool to get that next date in the books, and show off those flirting skills in person!
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