Ladies, I have to tell you that there is a reason you aren’t meeting the right person for you. The number one reason is – you will never believe it – you! I hate to tell you, and the backlash might be extreme, but it’s true. I am going to tell you what your friend’s won’t tell you. You are holding “you“back from the love you deserve. Before you run off in a huff over what I just said and think that I don’t care, and I am just mean spirited, please know that my backlash last week was from the guys out there. Last week I was a feminist man hater, which I might add, I find hilarious. Truth to be told, I am just telling it like it is, which once again, is something only a rare friend will do. Consider me your matchmaking friend! I want you to find love, and I appreciate you reading on for my thoughts.
So, yes, “you” are holding you back. You want to know why you are the problem because you thought it must be the lack of wonderful men in your dating pool? Oh, sure, maybe you aren’t meeting the quality of men you would love to date, and you think that’s the problem. It could be part of it. Let me tell you this much though. As a matchmaker, I see it all the time. The last woman I know who made that claim was sitting with only one man in the room, and she managed to deem herself too good for him. He was quite prestigious and high quality, but she overlooked the only man in the room! Did he need to wear a sign? Remember though, she doesn’t meet anyone of quality. That’s what she tells herself. In reality, she never gave him a chance, so she has no idea that she was in the presence of greatness because she right away thought no one there was good enough for her. It only takes 1 right guy, and if you stumble across him and make a few mistakes, you are missing out. I am absolutely certain you have met several guys that would have met your criteria, but you never even knew it. They don’t wear blinking lights alerting you to them. I want you to take my advice. This is common sense advice and not part of my matchmaking secrets. Practice on the guys that you meet online, and then change your dating pool to the ones you want, so you don’t miss out on any fabulous guys before you have fixed your mistakes.
So, what is it you are or aren’t doing? For starters, you don’t give love a chance. You have all the answers. You email me looking for love, but as a matchmaker, if I don’t do exactly what you want or respond exactly as you wish, you will tell me that what I suggest isn’t what you need. You called me for matchmaking but, Hey, if I know you really need coaching, you aren’t going to have any of that. You are still single, right? You paid to hear my advice and don’t take it. After all, you are a great catch and that’s all I need to know. No, not really. I need to know a lot more about you in order to help you find love, I need to know what’s working, what isn’t working, what your friend’s say, and what your mom says. I don’t need to know because it’s revealing. I need to know because I need to know what kind of messages you are receiving from well intentioned friends that really might not know the truth or are too afraid of hurting your feelings to tell you. Trust me when I tell you that you would be amazed as to why you aren’t meeting him because it isn’t what you thought. I am sure you are a wonderful person, and a great catch. This much is true. You are very accomplished in other areas of your life, but directing me in your love life yields the same result that you already experienced and puts you right back to where you started. Leave it for the experts and remain open minded.
So, read on for the top 5 reasons you aren’t meeting Mr. Right and how you can change it:
- This isn’t a business deal and you approached it like it is. You went in business clothes and had a business conversation. You aren’t negotiating a contract. Leave work at work, and learn how to flirt more, dress like you are on a date, and grill him less when you are there because it isn’t an interview. Save something for a second date.
- No one is good enough/you are too good. You need a doctor, a senior partner lawyer, a CEO type, a congressman etc . Oh, and by the way, he needs to be no older than you and preferably younger. I received this email almost verbatim. Toss your list ladies. You won’t find him checking off a few statistics. Guys are guilty of this too.
- You aren’t ever going online again. Yes, if you don’t have the money to pay a matchmaker, you should go online because this is where the largest dating pool exists for your age. You know people that meet and fall in love online. You just need to put in the time online to yield the result and present yourself using my advice, tips, and secrets. It pays off.
- No, your guy isn’t over 6ft tall. 87% of the men out there are less than 6ft. Don’t let a few inches stand in the way of finding your soul mate. Pick happiness, not height. Your dating pool is going to be a small puddle if you only consider 6ft and over.
- You refuse to date men with little children or exes because of the mama drama. Maybe you should have ruled out men that drink too much, cheat on you, treat you badly, or won’t commit with the same resolve. There is a lot of drama with the ones you have picked, too, but maybe the one’s with a baby mama have good qualities you shouldn’t overlook. Stop with the absolutes. Get clear on what a good man looks like and absolutely spend your time with him.
Thanks for reading the blog this week. Hope to see everyone at What’s Up Magazine’s The Look event in Annapolis this week, 2/26/16 where I will be speaking at 8pm. We will also be selling admission to our highly anticipated dating bootcamp on 4/9 which guest stars ABC’s most wanted bachelor, Chris Soules. This is a can’t miss event. Hope to see you there.