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Matchmaking 101: What To Expect & How To Find The Right Matchmaker For You

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the definition of matchmaker


Singles are more eager than ever to find love. In fact, a 2021 survey found that 19% of singles feel more social pressure to find a relationship since COVID began. The good news is, there are more date-worthy bachelors and bachelorettes than ever: the survey found that 72% of singles got better at prioritizing things in their lives, 66% started taking better care of their mental health, and 50% made improvements to their physical health. The only question now is: where can you find these elite singles aside from the same old online dating services? Enter: matchmakers, like Susan Trombetti. Matchmaking services can range vastly, but rest assured there’s a professional matchmaker for every dating need and goal. Whether you’re looking for someone to find you high-quality dates, to help clean up your image, or to coach you on how to ensure a successful date, a matchmaker can help (and I can accomplish all three).


Going into 2022, there’s one dating trend that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere: stability is sexy. Nearly half of singles reported that their ideal sexual relationship right now would be an exclusive relationship. Only 11% of singles want to date casually, whereas 62% say they’re looking for meaningful, committed relationships. And a whopping 65% of singles want a serious relationship within the next year. If only finding “The One” wasn’t so challenging right? Between all the catfishers, ghosters, flakes, and commitment-phobes you meet on dating apps, it’s no wonder singles are feeling frustrated with their love lives. They know what they want — they just don’t know how to go about finding it. But that’s where a matchmaker comes in.


If you’re new to matchmaking services, and you consider yourself to be an elite single, you likely have a lot of questions. How much does a matchmaker cost? What does a matchmaker do? Does matchmaking work? What about millionaire dating and billionaire dating? How do I choose a professional matchmaker? I’ll cover all of this below. 


Matchmaking services cost


Here’s the short answer: High-tier matchmaking services can cost $15K-20K and up. The long answer is that the cost of hiring a professional matchmaker can vary a lot depending on what area you live in, how long the company has been in operation, what level of service they offer, and more. But as is true with many things in life, you get what you pay for. High-end matchmakers — especially those who provide millionaire dating and billionaire dating — can charge more for their services because they have the expertise to back up those fees. In other words, they can promise you a higher-quality service, and very often, they work with a higher caliber pool of elite singles. 


Remember: anyone can hang a sign on their office door and call themselves a matchmaker and run a matchmaking services business. But do they have the skills and experience necessary to do the job? Do they attract elite singles? There’s a reason why I’ve been featured on Dr. Oz, Hulu, Today, Bravo, ABC, NBC, Fox, The Wall Street Journal Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, New York Post, New York Times, and more: I’m a trusted source on all things dating and relationships because I’ve seen it all. So, you can rest assured that your investment will pay off in the long run and you will meet the caliber of singles you are looking for in a match. 


The best thing you can do when shopping for matchmaking services is be very clear with your matchmaker about what your budget is. We offer a wide range of services at different price points, from image consulting to date coaching. When I meet with new clients, I pay attention to not only what their budget is, but also what their ultimate goals are, in determining whether or not we’re a good fit. And if it becomes clear that my matchmaking services are simply out of your budget, I can always refer you to another matchmaker that I consider trustworthy. And if you can’t afford a quality matchmaking service, consider date coaching. This service will teach you all the skills you need to attract eligible elite singles on your own, and it’s far more cost-effective than wasting your money on a  matchmaker who won’t perform for you. I feel that most people really only need coaching on where to meet elite singles, how to get a commitment, how to get out of the dreaded friend zone, and determine your needs vs. wants. 


Something to watch out for: Some matchmakers have hidden fees. So, always read your contract very carefully and make sure you understand what the financial obligation is before signing.


Matchmaking service types


Matchmaking is not one size fits all. Every professional matchmaker has their own unique set of services, which will depend on their specific expertise. But if you work with my team, here are just a few of the different options you can expect:


  • Date coaching (intense if needed) 
  • Dating feedback
  • Image consult
  • Wardrobe advice 
  • Upscale matchmaking which include elite singles


Which is right for you? The only way to find out is to fill out my online form and set up a consultation. If you’re not attracting the type of men or women you want, then you may benefit from an image consult or some wardrobe advice. Or, if you tend to struggle with landing a second date, then some dating feedback or coaching might help you identify self-sabotaging habits or behaviors that are driving people away. Conversely, if you feel confident in your dating skills and you just don’t have the time or means to meet the quality of people you’re interested in, I can help coordinate dates with successful, attractive elite singles. 


How to choose a matchmaker


The Matchmaking Institute estimates that there are now more than 2,000 professional matchmakers in the U.S. But not all are created equal.


There are two very distinct types of matchmaking companies:

  • Full-service, in-person matchmaking companies work with you in person to find the best match for you.
  • Digital matchmaking companies use algorithms that take personal data and turn them into a list of potential matches. 


Choosing a professional matchmaker starts with knowing your A) goals, and B) your budget. Once you’re clear on both of those things, you’ll have a much easier time figuring out who’s able to help you. For most people, a full-service, in-person matchmaking company is going to be more beneficial. That’s because the matchmaker will have more information on you from meeting over video chat, phone calls, etc., and can use that info to personalize your services and tailor your matches. And that will make a huge difference in the long run, especially if you’re looking for a lasting relationship and not just another fling. 


A “genuine matchmaker” is one who seeks out authentic connections, and will do the groundwork necessary to make that happen. If a matchmaker hasn’t taken the time to get to know you — your personality, your quirks, your lifestyle, your goals, and dreams — then how can you expect them to find someone who’s a good match? Your matchmaker can get to know a lot about you through your consultation, so pay attention to what kinds of questions they’re asking. I like to dig deep and gather details not only on the person’s dating preferences, but also on their dating and relationship history, so we can identify patterns that aren’t working and have a better shot of finding them happiness. Of course, your matchmaker will also learn more about you over time. Remember: this is a two-way relationship, and both people have to be on the same page to make it work. That means you’re interviewing them, too. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about their process during the consultation.


Another thing to consider is who you’re trying to meet. My company sponsors movie premieres, attends high-end galas, and is constantly getting involved in events for the elite, rich, and famous — including A-list celebrities, pro athletes, CEOs, and young professionals. That means we have access to the most desirable elite singles and can offer a red velvet level of service. If you have certain standards — then you’ll want to make sure your matchmaker can uphold those. For instance, if you’re a high-powered exec looking for an equally ambitious man or woman to complement your busy life, then ask about professional dating. If you’re an affluent jetsetter, model, or entrepreneur looking to meet people on your level, consider elite dating. People of notoriety who want to meet other celebs who understand their lifestyle will want to find a pro who offers celebrity matchmaking. And if you’ve got a seven-figure salary, you may want to pursue millionaire dating and billionaire dating services, because matchmakers who specialize in this will know firsthand what your concerns are (ending up with a golddigger or con artist) and be able to mindfully match you with people who fit seamlessly into your lifestyle. The good news is, I can provide all of those. I have thousands of elite singles. 


Some other questions you might want to ask the matchmaker to help guide your decision:

  • How long does it typically take before I’m set up on a date?
  • What happens after my date? Do you offer any feedback?
  • What if you can’t find me a match? Does that ever happen?


If after all that, you’re still not sure about which matchmaker to work with, choose the one you feel most comfortable with and get along with easily. You’ll have to get vulnerable with this person, and you’ll be spending a good deal of time revealing personal information to them, so you want to work with someone who’s easy to talk to and makes you feel at ease.

Matchmaking scams & other warnings


Recently, a company in Tampa Bay, Florida that billed itself as a “matchmaking service” ended up getting sued by tons of people who didn’t get what they paid for. I don’t want that to happen to you. It can be hard to spot a scammer, but when you’re evaluating these dating services, take some time to look at their website and their credentials. Have they been quoted in legitimate news publications? Do they have any client testimonials? And be wary of matchmaking companies that offer services at prices that seem too good to be true — because they probably are. 


Case in point: there are a couple of increasingly popular services — like one named after an antiquated rule about waiting to call, and one lunch-related — that cost considerably less compared to private elite matchmakers. That’s the main reason why they’ve gained attention in recent years: they promise the same service for much cheaper. The problem? Most clients complain that they don’t follow through on those promises. They also rarely have elite singles. In fact, if you read online reviews for both of those dating services, you’ll find they have a lot of dissatisfied customers. One reason why the business model doesn’t work is that companies like the rule-related one are picking people for you off of their partnership access with Match and the match.com affiliates. And if you wanted to meet people on Match, wouldn’t you just sign up for their online dating site for $35.99 a month? The whole point of seeking out a matchmaker is to meet singles you wouldn’t meet on dating apps.I might add though there are many elite singles online. You just need to weed and sort and not fall for the first person. You need to invest the time. 


The lunch-named company has a slew of complaints with the Better Business Bureau for “misleading” clients, and the other aforementioned company has even more complaints for “misrepresenting their services” and not delivering what they promised. Just to give you an idea, here are some Yelp reviews for the lunch matchmaking service:


  • “​​I feel I was duped into a safe space to find a partner, and instead was left feeling discarded and uncared for as soon as I wanted to narrow in on the type of person I was looking for.”

  • “There isn’t a point person collecting feedback and taking it into consideration for your next match. Their definition of high quality is educated working people. Any app can filter those qualities. The assistants have a hard time keeping track of email feedback. Do NOT waste your time here. What you’re sold and what you buy do not align. $2600 for two poor-quality ‘dates.’ It was not a good use of my time.”

  • “A completely fraudulent company. The first matchmaker didn’t make the initial virtual interview. I didn’t get a date until the following June! 10 months. They never contact you, I had to call her. I had two dates neither was what I was interested in. What’s the point in asking what you’re looking for if you’re not going to [get it]?”

  • “I would rate a ZERO, but then you can’t read my “Warning!” RUN, don’t walk away from this place. They will SELL you on the experience, however, do not be fooled, it’s all about the money to them. They will tell you they are ‘matching’ you up, but …. NOT the case. I was matched with people that had nothing to do with me. Age was way off, interests, height et al. When confronted, they just kept telling me to read my contract. It’s a SCAM!”

  • “They do not listen, they are pushy, they have no interest in finding what you actually want. They are not thorough. They don’t take good notes and they have weird policies. Lots of money wasted. Do not recommend.”


Meanwhile, here are some of the scathing reviews for the one pertaining to a rule:


  • “Please do not waste 4,500 on this service! Learn from my mistake and do not get sucked into this matchmaking process. Although my matchmaker was nice and easily reachable, she failed to get to know me and put in very minimal effort to find anyone decent. In fact, they reuse the same dates for multiple clients. My matchmaker didn’t even meet two out of the three girls I went on a date with. How can she call them a good match when she barely knows me and didn’t even meet these matches?”

  • “When speaking with the matchmakers, they will tell you that you are not obligated to take into account the matches if you don’t deem them a good fit. Well, let’s say 2/6 matches I didn’t meet up with bc they were not my type’ and yes, I provided images of real people I’ve dated for reference so they know what to look for amongst the list of questions I answered from TDR to ensure they find a good match. And frankly, a few dates confirmed they entered TDR’s pool through Tinder. So you are essentially searching the same pool as the apps.”

  • “Worst service ever. They just want to make a buck. they set you up with unavailable or creeps. You will do much better finding a date on your own.”


What’s the lesson here? Be very careful who you do business with — especially when it comes to your love life, and you’re shelling out thousands of hard-earned dollars.


Matchmaking services for women vs. men


The matchmaking services we offer for women can differ slightly than those offered for men. This depends on the individual of course, but here are some generalities.


Many women come to me eager to break out of toxic dating patterns. They keep finding themselves drawn to men who are bad for them — men who excite them, but can’t ultimately commit, or meet their emotional needs. They end up in unhealthy relationships that don’t fulfill them or make them happy. As a result, they don’t trust their own “picker,” so they hire a matchmaker to help them find great guys they otherwise wouldn’t have dated. I often say “you get what you put up with,” and I work with these women to empower them in getting their needs met. Not only do I help them pinpoint the root of this problem and why they’re attracted to these men but I also help them to separate their needs from their wants, clarify what they value in a partner, and determine how to get what they desire and deserve — including commitment. Another component of this is building up their self-esteem: because they’ll only be able to accept a healthy kind of love if they feel they are worthy of it.


A lot of my male clients, on the other hand, either struggle with low self-confidence, awkwardness around going on dates, or unrealistic standards. Men who have been out of the dating game for a while (just got divorced or ended a long-term relationship) may be feeling a bit defeated, and out of touch with how to date. Lots of them may not realize that their image needs a bit of a tune-up. I can help with all of those aspects: by working with them on their physical appearance and mental strength, I can support them in gradually boosting their confidence so they’re ready to get back out there again. As for the guys who expect to meet a fit, gorgeous, successful supermodel who’s 5’10 — well, I can help them, too. Some guys get in their own way by dreaming up an unrealistic image of who their perfect partner is. What they don’t realize is that A) perfection doesn’t exist and B) that person probably wouldn’t even make them happy anyway. That’s not to say I don’t have access to drop-dead gorgeous supermodels, because I do. But the point is that you may not even realize that you need more out of a partner than universal good looks — and together, we can get to the bottom of what really matters. Maybe that’s an adventurous spirit, so they have someone to accompany them on their frequent travels. Or maybe it’s someone with a nurturing personality, who can take care of them when their job is extra stressful. It’s good to have standards, but when the bar is set too high, you’ll never be satisfied. As long as the client is willing to keep an open mind when it comes to matches, and invested in developing more realistic standards, I can guide them toward a more fulfilling love life.


FYI, there tend to be more women in these databases, meaning matchmakers sometimes have to work a little harder to recruit single men. Luckily, I have the clout and influence to personally call up a high-level CEO, A-lister, or another sought-after single man even if they aren’t in my database to make a match happen. I’ll never match two people “just because” — if I pursue a match, it’s because I genuinely believe there’s potential for something amazing. And something to keep in mind: paid members (coaching, private sessions, and group coaching are minimal costs ways to be considered a client) always get priority over free members, so upgrading your service can up your odds of finding a match.


Celebrity matchmaking


I’m known as a professional matchmaker to the rich and famous — and that includes actors, athletes, CEOs, and other celebs. But I won’t name names — if I did, those people with recognizable faces wouldn’t be hiring me. They usually want to keep their dating lives out of the press, and they know they can count on me for the utmost discretion. I do not take confidentiality lightly, and my clients know that.


Most of these people do not have the time or energy to look for viable dates, and even if they did, they want to avoid getting chased down by the paparazzi while they’re trying to chat up other singles. I eliminate all of those hassles and hurdles for them. As with other clients, I’ll do a one-on-one consultation to discuss what they’re looking for before beginning the matchmaking process. But sourcing matches for millionaire dating (and billionaire dating) is a very specific art. People with high-profile careers often have a unique set of challenges they face and concerns about dating, and I help them navigate all that. Luckily, I have an extensive pool of high-caliber men and women (elite singles), and once I know what the client’s priorities are, I can get to work sussing out singles who have shared interests, beliefs, goals, etc.


A key component of this process is how meticulous I am in screening potential matches. Obviously, I’m not going to match an A-list celeb with just anyone. Before I ever introduce them, I have to feel confident that they can fit within their high-profile lifestyle and that they have their own impressive accomplishments and pursuits.

Matchmaking services FAQ


Is matchmaking safe?


Some people feel a bit apprehensive about going on blind dates, and I don’t blame them. It’s a jungle out there! If you’ve followed the shows Millionaire Matchmaker or Married at First Sight then you know full well that sometimes people end up matched with some pretty unsavory individuals. This may be because the matchmaker doesn’t do their homework on the person’s past, or it may be because the person is just really good at lying about their character and intentions. Either way, let me assure you: I take safety very seriously.


We always conduct background checks on every single prospective client. But the truth is, anyone can pass a background check with a fake name. Fortunately, I have a background in investigating — and I use the skills I’ve fine-tuned during all of my consultations and interviews to recognize red flags. I have experience in tracking, data analysis, and lying detection techniques, and I harness all of these while vetting potential matches. I can tell when someone is being dishonest with me — whether they’re married, not actually ready for a commitment, or just not who they say they are. That means when you go on dates, you won’t have to worry that your matches are disingenuous, dangerous, or just downright shady. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t employ some basic dating safety practices on your own, but just know that I can reveal a lot more about your prospective dates than a typical background check can.


What if I have a specific “type”? Can I still work with a matchmaker?


It’s natural to find yourself attracted to a particular trait or set of traits. Maybe you always go for goofy guys with dark hair, or curvy women with assertive personalities. There’s nothing wrong with that. But here’s the thing: If you come to me with a long laundry list of must-haves, I’m going to be real with you. I’m not here to find the “perfect” woman or man. They do not exist. Once you can accept that, we can work together to separate your needs from your wants. For example, you might need someone who’s emotionally mature and financially stable, but want someone with an athletic body. There’s a difference. And as long as you can keep an open mind, I promise you’ll be surprised at how you can fall for someone who may not exactly fit your usual “type.”


What happens after the first date?


Some matchmakers consider their job to be done once they’ve set you up on a successful date. Not me. Once the date is over, I’ll continue coaching you, offering valuable feedback on the experience and providing pointers for next time. The idea here is to increase the odds that you keep landing that next date until a strong connection naturally forms and that connection breeds a real lasting relationship. Some clients need a little bit more coaching than others. But across the board, this part of the process is crucial. Our matchmakers will be there for you every step of the way — from choosing what you’re going to wear on your date to figuring out when you should follow up with your date afterward and what to say.


How many elite singles will I meet?


The reality is, some matchmakers only have a small pool of people to choose from and they aren’t always the elite singles you are looking for in a match. This is particularly true if they only work with locals and don’t live in a highly populated, urban area, if they’re new to the industry and still slowly building up their client base, or if they’re only taking on a hyper-specific type of client. I’ve been doing this for a while now, and have amassed an enormous network that extends all across the United States and even out of the country. In fact, our database includes thousands of singles at any given time. Of course, not everyone in that database is compatible with you. So many factors go into the matchmaking process — how many matches we find for you may depend on your location, age, lifestyle, physical appearance, financial situation, and more. But the good news is that because we have such a large pool of elite singles to pick from, the matches we do find are sure to align well with your preferences.

Hopefully, all of this information has given you some insight into matchmaking services, what they can offer you, and how to select one that will help you meet your dating goals. Remember: a quality professional matchmaker will listen to you, they will be motivated to help you get out of your own way (and sometimes out of your comfort zone), and they will tailor their services to meet your needs. But above all, make sure that the matchmaker you choose to work with is one that makes you feel heard and valued. This is someone you’re trusting with your love life, after all! So, ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable sharing my deepest dating fears and anxieties with this person? Do I feel that they understand what I’m looking for? Do they seem genuinely motivated to help me overcome my dating-related issues? Are they being transparent with me about what they can promise me? And are they consistent and respectful in their communication with me? I always say it’s like finding love — once you meet the right matchmaker, “you’ll just know.” We specialize in elite singles looking for love. I don’t need to be in your backyard to know the upscale singles you want to date.