Susan
May 3, 2020
Previously published by USA Today
If you’re reading this, it’s not too late – put the phone down, walk away slowly and don’t text your ex…
… or call, or DM, or send a letter by carrier pigeon.
The emotional toll the coronavirus pandemic has taken on most of us, coupled with quarantine or self-isolation, is pushing some to extremes like reaching out to a past fling or packing up and quarantining with your ex like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.
The uncertainty of when things will return to “normal” can easily lead you to think your love life is stagnant, especially when you’re not outside meeting new people. So the ex starts to look a little more appealing; It’s the devil you know, says Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking.
“There’s that feeling of ‘Oh my God, I don’t want to die alone,'” Trombetti says. “When you’re tired, you’re depressed, you’re lonely, you’re scared, whatever it is, you go back to a bad habit, and let’s face it – most of us have toxic exes, so you go back to that toxic place.”
photo credit AP Images
If you haven’t done it already, we know you’ve at least thought about it. Maybe even written out the text hovered over the “send” button for a couple of hours. While there are a few valid reasons to check in on your old bae, the consensus is don’t.
Nicole Moore, a love coach and host of the “Love Works with Nicole Moore”podcast, says your ex is your ex for a reason, and the only exception to this rule is if one of you has changed (so essentially you’d be reconnecting with a “new” person)
You’re taking a gamble because it’s impossible to tell if they’ve changed without talking to them, but you can discreetly reach out to a mutual friend and gather some intel so you have some information to make your decision, Moore says.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to ever reach out to an ex unless you have done personal inner growth work and/or they have, too. Because if not, you’re just going to repeat the same thing,” Moore says.
Unless you and your former partner had a healthy relationship with lots of positives and broke up because of distance or a life-altering event that wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker, avoid further contact, Trombetti says.